I went through my email inbox today,
Well, with intentions of reading our past emails.
This girl, not mentioning name, was dear to me.
She was this dumb little hyper girl who often used to text me random things.
Never failing to tell me about her problems.
Things were all fine, just the two of us and the whole world to face.
When i was away in guangzhou last year ( I myself forgot about it),
this special little girl sent me emails everyday.
Telling me how was her day like, how she enjoyed her day, how much she misses me.
She stupidly laughed at my first email address, wanting to change hers to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Slowly, we drifted.
We argued, quarreled. we no longer were the sweethearts we both dearly knew.
This email was sent to me on the 11th November 2010,
I thought it through, i realised i couldn't have the best of both worlds.
Either one suffers or both.
No matter how much i miss her,
she's never coming back.
She has them,
I have them too.
I just want a fucking time machine badly.
I knew how much i've hurt her, how much i din't treasure her, how much i could have done so much more for her. Things had changed, no longer the same, not only that, they contridicts.
She was someone who told me that the world was cruel, i had to face facts. I couldn't stop living in my "everyone's trustable" world. I learnt it the hard way.
I din't treasure you, now you're gone.
Like the wind blows.
That fast, things changed.
We're two different people now.
Just so you know,
I'm always here, since the 11th.
I'll never stop being your listening ear.
I'll be here if you need someone's shoulder to cry on.
All the best.
Don't think i'll blog often anymore.